Celebrate Understanding
This month, after taking two weeks off to experience my mom’s transition and assist my dad as he needed, I return this week to celebrate a deeper understanding of Divine Truth. As you know, Everyday Life Paths is about the Convergence of Life and Spiritual Practice. When I remain open to Life no matter how it manifests, I give myself the opportunity to grow through God’s plan.
My mom died from small cell lung cancer which had also migrated to her liver. I watched and assisted as she progressed on this path. She did not complain. She made the mention that she quit smoking almost six years to the date of her diagnosis. It was her understanding that your chance of getting lung cancer significantly dropped when you had quit smoking for six years or more. The irony was not lost on her. She did not speak of the “what ifs,” yet they were in the back of her mind.
Her thoughts lead me to my own. Is there a place in my life that I need to move forward? Is there a decision that God is leading me to make that I need to listen? I AM willing to spend more time in the silence. I AM aware of God’s plan and am open. I release any fears and doubts of my abilities and allow Life to flow through me. I AM here.
Both mom and dad thought they would live until their 80’s and were looking forward to it. From the outside, my siblings and I judged their lives as boring and over. From their perspective, they were content. Their perception was that life was fine just as it was.
So again, how can I be content right where I AM? Can I know that God’s plan is working in my life? Do I know that everything is exactly as needs to be? Yes, I can. By being in the silence all my questions are put to rest. If I AM uncomfortable does that mean I need to listen to the depth of my soul and make different choices? Only the silence within can lead me to answers.
After she died, everyone had the answers for my dad. While neighbors and friends meant well, only my dad could understand what grieving would look like for him. Even my siblings knew dad would not be able to make it without mom. I did not feel that. I thought my dad would be sad and then recover. Although not religious, he has always told me that the body was a casing for the soul. He said that when a person died, the soul moved on and left the empty shell behind.
He is from Iowa and there is an amazing spirit within. When something happens to an Iowa farmer, what I have witnessed is that they grieve, yet know they must move on. For example, if you have ever seen an Iowa farmer discuss loosing a harvest, they experience the loss, yet know that the community will work together and rebuild for next year. My father has that spirit. While he misses my mom and allows himself to feel the pain of life without her, he knows he must move forward as Life continues.
What I do find interesting is that those who thought my dad was going to have a hard time after my mom died are the one’s who are struggling. Those who told me that “it” (meaning my mom’s death) would hit me are the one’s who are still struggling with their own loss. I found that dad and I have become the space to allow other’s grief to be expressed. Instead of them comforting us in the loss of my mom, we became a space of comfort for them. I think the difference is that dad and I were involved with mom until the end. We understood what was coming and what she wanted. We worked together to honor her requests. Those who are just becoming aware need time to process the loss of my mom and their own personal loss.
While my dad and I may grieve differently, there is hope for the future and of Life still to be lived. I may not understand the Love between my parents, yet I have an understanding of God’s truth, as I perceive it. My family thought dad would pass and mom would take care of everything. She always did. In God’s plan, dad is holding his own and I AM able to support him as needed. As we are told: “We are never given more than we can handle.” Life experiences gave me everything I needed to cope with this situation and my connection to the God within helped me understand. I have found an understanding of spirituality that was unknown before.
Can we transmute a loss experience into a God experience? Instead of dwelling on my loss, can I be a Presence of God’s love? As I realize that Life does not have to be painful, but God filled, my understanding of the Divine truth within expands. As I have always said, it is not what happens, but how I respond to what happens that creates my experience and thus my life. When I converge my Life with my Spiritual practice, I choose to create my life. For this opportunity I AM grateful.
Join me next month as we move forward with hope and renewal to discuss one of my favorite topics: Choice! Peace to you and yours this day.
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