Everyday Knowing Reminder - Sunday Message March 28, 2010

Our final discussion this month is

Family: A New Definition

So what is a new definition of family? Family is those with whom we connect through a spiritual perspective, love unconditionally, and allow the space for them to grow as God intended. Sometimes they are those who may be related through blood ties, yet when we are open to seeing the God within each person we meet, our family grows exponentially.

After a year of communicating with my sister, she reconnected with her birth-father. While it was something she needed at the time, it also allowed her to move through any prior beliefs. My eldest brother was the first one to make contact with his birth-father and his wife. They welcomed him with open arms and love just as if they had always been in his life. He came home feeling loved and belonging to an extended family. They welcomed my sister and my other brother just as warmly. While each one had a different experience due to their own circumstances, they were welcomed in love and kindness.

The twist on this story, is that I also been in contact with my siblings birth-father and his wife. They saw pictures of me while visiting with my brother and wanted to get to know me as well. I was hesitant at first, as it was more important for my siblings to connect. I also felt a sense of “loyalty” to my parents. Yet over time, as I have come to know them over the phone, I have found them to be truly lovely people. We read the same books, we tend to see life in similar ways and love my siblings deeply. They speak to me and include my husband and son as if we were also a part of their family. More importantly, the more I listen to them, I have found that they are truly lovely to all people within their lives.

My sibling’s birth-father had admitted that he was not always that way. It took a close call with death about 10 years ago for his light to shine brightly. Since I do not have any history or prior judgments or needs, I was just open, hoping that my siblings would have a chance to address anything they needed. As both my parents knew my siblings birth-father, I have had to balance their memory of this individual with my own present day experience. How fortunate I AM to have received in my life not just my sibling’s birth-father but his wife of over 30 years as well. Today in this moment, I find them loving, generous and kind. While he may have been manifesting something different 40 years ago, I AM glad he and his wife are just as they are now so that all my siblings and I can enjoy this time with them.


Who in your life are you opening up to? Do you have a story regarding moving Beyond Blood Ties© either within your family or beyond? Feel free to contact me with your Everyday Experience and you may be featured in our Everyday Voices section.

Everyday Knowing Reminder - Sunday Message March 21, 2010

Sibling Relationships

We continue this month discussing family – Beyond Blood Ties. Today I begin with sibling relationships. I have heard stories of families not speaking due to a huge fight. I have seen sisters becoming best friends, bonded by family ties. What happens when we go beyond the blood ties? What happens when we release our expectation of what family is and allow God to flow through us? What happens is what we were looking for has always been right where we were looking.

Two years ago I started speaking with my sister on a regular basis after numerous years of not having a relationship. Well, actually, we never really had a relationship. There was not a major fight, we just lived different lives. She is five years my senior and we were just never at the same point in our lives, until now. I would love to tell you that I called and everything has been perfect since, but that would not be true.

We’ve had a few bumps and curves as we redefined what our relationship will look like. We have had moments in our communication that we thought would not work out. There we times when I did not know if I could listen anymore, yet it resolved itself. While we may not agree on certain points of view or sometimes old sister rivalry (ego) has come into play, we still continue to talk. There are times when I think she is over the edge and times when she thinks I will never get “it.”

Finally, last Friday, I heard a sound within her I had never heard to this degree before: peace. She was centered, focused, and calm. She seemed to be in the space she always talks about. It was in this moment that I was ready to receive her wisdom. She gave to me wonderful gifts. First, the gift of receiving what she had to offer and then the joy of a relationship which will continue to grow. By being willing to truly see what she had to offer, through an open heart, I let go of my own worry and connected with her on a different level. How grateful I AM to have experienced these moments with her.

We spoke a few days later and while she was not as calm, her voice was still different, still centered. She laughed as she said that she was not in her God-space as she was in the day before. We both laughed, as we released our expectation of one another. Since I love how she was the other day, I had asked her to stay in that space. Through this laughter, we both relaxed. She knows that I still love her even when she is not in her God-space.

Today when she left a message, I did not even recognize her voice. Her voice was light and happy. Whatever has happened, in this moment our relationship is joyful. While each day our relationship evolves, we may not always see eye to eye. Sometimes, one or both of us may be caught in life’s challenges. Yet, after experiencing her as the light that I have always known her to be, I AM open. I can approach those days more relaxed for I know I have seen her incredible soul in action. As I stroll down life’s path, I have opened myself to see what there is for me to learn from my everyday sibling.

Everyday Knowing Reminder - Sunday Message March 14, 2010

Children

As we continue to discuss family – beyond blood ties, let us turn to our attention to the many faces of families.

This Sunday, March 14, is the anniversary when our son came home from Korea to be with his forever family. If you are an adoptive family, you know what this means. While we may not give birth to our children, we give them our love. We honor each birth-parent for being a conduit through which a child enters this world. We honor the heritage of the child’s birth country or if a domestic adoption, we honor the culture from which they came. Most importantly, we honor God’s Presence within them. My son and I just had a conversation about the role of his birth-parents as well as his dad and me. I told him that his birth-mom and dad were in charge of creating his physical body. They did a great job, as he is healthy, strong, and intelligent. While his birth-parents where responsible for his physical body, I said that his dad and I were responsible for nurturing his soul. We are here to hold his soul’s hand until it is ready to walk on its own.

His dad and I have grown so much through his Presence. Thanks to our son, we have really come into our spirituality. We have found a way to eat better, exercise and create a daily spiritual practice. When there is a soul which is counting on you, you step up and answer the call. We are called “three peas in a pod,” for we do just about everything together. We not only love each other but enjoy being together.

As my son begins to understand what adoption is, he asked if I was adopted. I told him no, however when I was growing up I thought it might be a possibility I was adopted. I did not look like anyone in my family. I acted different and saw the world and life differently. This is true even today. What I have found is that families were not made to look like each other, although some do, we were made to see how similar we are on the inside.

When we learn to see the God-Presence within our families, it lays the foundation for peace among neighbors, cities, states and countries. For when we make peace within our families, we add to the collective peace consciousness. When we can find peace with our family, we can find peace in our neighbors and those from other countries.

So as we enjoy this path with “our” son, we give him our beliefs, our values, and our perspective. As he grows he will learn to take from our teachings what works for him, modifying or completely changing as needed. What will remain is the intense love we all have for each other. To allow another to have their own beliefs, to give space for the person to grow as God intended and to be Present and honor their own path is a true blessing.

As we celebrate the day our son came home to us, his “gotcha day,” we remember three things: Love, Love, Love. For within Love all things are possible.

Everyday Knowing Reminder Sunday Message - March 7, 2010

Family – Beyond Blood Ties

Mention the word family and many descriptions come to mind. Family may be the people you live with or the people you rarely see. Family can be those who gave birth to you and or the people who raised you. Family can be your current or former spouse’s/partner’s family. One thing is for sure, families come in many shapes and sizes.

Today, the type of family I want to be reminded of is the family within Love. A family within Love requires no blood ties, nor common ancestry. This family does not require a history or a background.

This new type of family is open to Love through the connection within Life. This family is open to all participants. It is a living, breathing entity for there are neither limitations nor requirements for membership. While each family may be separate, the unity of Love connects each person within the family to the greater whole, the Infinite, the Ever-Presence: God.

Through the month of March, I will ponder the many faces of family. I will attempt to illustrate how I found joy. By connecting spiritual practice with everyday experiences through Love, a new definition of family will emerge.